


kiss me once (before i go)

by mellowfellow



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Mystery, a hint of paranormal, a little fluff, ambiguous - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-11 15:44:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17449775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellowfellow/pseuds/mellowfellow
Summary: what he and johnny would’ve been – its all wishful thinking now.doyoung hopes everything was just a bad dream.





	kiss me once (before i go)

**Author's Note:**

> here i am with a new johndo fic!! i wasn't able to write this the way i originally planned, but i tried my best!

As soon as he felt his eyes fluttering close, Doyoung unlatched his arms slowly away from Johnny’s body, who was leaning against his chest. Much to the latter’s disappointment, a grunt escaped Johnny’s mouth and immediately reached for Doyoung’s arm to wrap it back around his figure. Johnny scooted his body higher so that his head was snuggled against Doyoung’s neck, nuzzling his nose on a ticklish spot. Bubbles of laughter resonated throughout the living room of their apartment.

“Nooo, hyung. You’re going to be late.” Doyoung yanked his arm from Johnny’s grip positioned on his chest.

“And so are you. Let’s ditch work.” Johnny raised his head to face Doyoung, a playful smile on his lips. Johnny might seem like he’s joking, but he had voiced out the idea of skipping work last night, for the significant reason that today was their third anniversary of dating. A tempting offer laced with Johnny’s smile and sweet words was hard to resist, but with three years of being with him, Doyoung had completely mastered the art of not falling for his attempts.

“You should leave before we both end up falling asleep again. We got our special dinner planned for tonight, didn’t we? Work will be over before you know it. Now, shoo.” Doyoung flashed a grin, playfully shoving Johnny’s large body away from him, earning a disbelieving pout from the other. Johnny stood up and smoothened out the wrinkles on his casual button down, and Doyoung stood to reach out for Johnny’s collar, fixing it with careful hands. Johnny stared at him straight in the eyes, making his chest whirl. Doyoung’s gaze faltered as he averted his head to the side but Johnny was quick to hold his cheek, making the flustered lad face him again. Johnny’s once intense stare was now replaced by a softer one, and before Doyoung could melt, he was already kept in place by Johnny’s firm hold on his waist.. and his lips secured with a kiss from Johnny’s own. 

It was a kind of kiss completely different from the ones Doyoung received from Johnny before – Johnny’s plump lips molded perfectly with his – it started soft, slowly turning passionate. Johnny’s hunger for the kiss was undeniable, a hunger incomparable to a wolf hunting for prey. The hunger Johnny has, it was as if he was yearning for something he couldn’t ever have again. Doyoung can feel Johnny’s fervent emotions flowing to him through their locked lips, and it was consuming his whole being. 

Running out of breath, Johnny parted away, his hands lingering on Doyoung’s nape as they both remained silent, heads still soaring over the clouds.  


“Happy anniversary, angel.” Johnny’s smile was soft, Doyoung reciprocating a gummy smile of his own. Johnny’s hands caressed Doyoung’s back momentarily, his warmth spreading through Doyoung’s body, amidst being fully clothedd. Johnny kissed the corner of his mouth one last time, right at the spot where his small but prominent scar was located. The action made Doyoung’s heart beat a little more faster than it already was.

“Happy anniversary, hyung. You should go, you’re running late. Dinner at 9! Don’t forget.” Doyoung handed Johnny his jacket before they walked to the front door. 

“Of course, I won't miss it for anything. See you later. I love you.”

“I love you too. Drive safe!” Doyoung watched his boyfriend walk backwards away from him, waving before entering the elevator. Doyoung caught a glimpse of his face one last time before the elevator doors closed.

 

\--

 

“Thank you for the delicious meal, team leader Kim!” The group of journalists chorused, bowing in sync to the middle aged man in front of them. Team Leader Kim beamed and waved his goodbye as he needed to leave first to return to their headquarters. The group was quick to disperse and proceed back to their vans.

“Jae, let’s go!” Johnny swung his arm around Jaehyun’s shoulder, his junior yet his closest buddy among everyone. Jaehyun had only been with the team for a year, the first six months his internship, and Johnny became his mentor and first friend. Jaehyun respected and appreciated Johnny a lot, and from then, they were the inseparable duo of the field reporting team.

The two walked towards the parking lot where Johnny’s car was located, and Johnny removed his jacket before taking the driver’s seat. A black velvet box sitting on the small open compartment suddenly caught Jaehyun’s attention, who was comfortably seated shotgun. He definitely did not notice it before when they drove to the restaurant.

“Hyung-?” 

“Mhm?” Johnny perked his head towards Jaehyun, whose gaze was still on the box, making Johnny look at it as well.

“Oh, this?” Johnny took the box, his lips curving into a soft smile. Jaehyun can feel Johnny’s pure happiness just by the small reaction on his face.

“I’m proposing to Doyoung tonight. For our third anniversary. Do you think he’ll like it?” Gentle fingers opened the box, revealing a sleek two-toned band made of titanium, rose gold and silver colored. Jaehyun’s mouth formed an ‘o’ as he scrutinized the ring’s exquisiteness.

“Hyung… this is wonderful. Doyoung hyung will love it. You’ll get your ‘yes’ in the speed of light.” Awe was drawn on Jaehyun’s features. His heart melted – he wondered how it felt to be in love and be bonded to them, for the rest of their lives. He and Johnny might have only known each other for a year, but Jaehyun felt proud and ecstatic that his closest hyung had found his total happiness.

“Really? This is making me anxious. What if-?” Johnny began, but Jaehyun was quick to cut him off.

“Hyung, you’ve been together for three years, known each other for almost the rest of your life. You both know how lucky you are with each other. Trust yourself.” Jaehyun reached out to give a light pat on Johnny’s shoulder, which made him smile in relief.

“Thanks, buddy. You’d be my best man, right? I won’t take no for an answer.” The statement made Jaehyun’s eyes widen with disbelief.

“Seriously? That’s- wow. It’d be an honor. I’ll be more than happy to be your best man, hyung.” Jaehyun beamed, dimples visible. Johnny extended a hand to ruffle the younger’s hair lightly as they burst in chuckles.

Johnny’s heart felt lighter, his worries and doubts washed away. He was a hundred and one percent sure – Doyoung was the one he’d want to spend the rest of his years with. He would love him until death, even after death be it allowed.

 

\--

 

 _Thirty minutes…_  
“Johnny, please answer the phone..”

 

 _Forty-five minutes…_  
‘The person you are trying to call is unavailable right now’

 

_One hour and a half…_

 

 _Quarter to eleven o’clock…_  
“Sir, the restaurant will close in five minutes. Would you prefer the food be wrapped?

“Oh.. sure. Thank you.”

 

Doyoung arrived to the restaurant fifteen minutes prior to their scheduled dinner at 9PM. He stood in front of the establishment, feeling butterflies on his stomach. The restaurant was originally Johnny’s favorite, until Johnny took him there to eat for the first time, and it became his favorite too. Clad in a striped button down and black jeans, Doyoung fixed his sleeves and took a deep breath as he entered.  


Early this afternoon, Johnny had called Doyoung to inform that he will be quite late for their dinner, for the reason that he and Jaehyun had to cover news in a city a few miles farther from theirs. Doyoung was understanding, and even ordered Johnny to drop Jaehyun off safely as well. Now, an hour had passed, yet Johnny was nowhere to be found. Doyoung had tried to contact him constantly, but his phone was dead.

The restaurant was about to close, as the server had informed him, and with Johnny’s no-show, Doyoung couldn’t hide the sadness and disappointment from his face. Once the server came back with the food, Doyoung quickly rushed out of the restaurant and hailed a cab to their apartment.

 

An uncomfortable feeling gnawed at Doyoung’s stomach as he laid on the king-sized bed, alone. He stared at the messages he sent Johnny, no replies made. A text from Jaehyun said Johnny told him he’d go straight to the restaurant after he dropped him off, but where was he if he did? Jaehyun couldn’t get a hold of him anymore either. The clock on Doyoung’s phone read 11:30PM before it blacked out due to low battery. Doyoung didn’t bother charging it and went straight to sleep with a heavy heart.

 

The soft mattress dipped beside where Doyoung was sleeping on. Doyoung felt an arm wrapping around his stomach, and he instantly knew it was Johnny. A tired sigh of relief escaped Doyoung’s lips, and now he all he felt was anger stirring in his chest. Doyoung hesitated to turn around and face Johnny, so he didn’t.

“I’m sorry.” He heard Johnny murmur. Johnny’s embrace was firm, and somehow it made Doyoung suffocate, along with the tightness of his chest due to his frustration. 

_'That’s it? Why weren’t you answering my calls? Why didn’t you come, Johnny? Why did you leave me there alone?’_ were Doyoung’s thoughts, but he was too tired and sleepy to voice his sentiments right then. He suddenly felt Johnny’s lips kiss his neck, lingering for a while as he trailed more until Doyoung’s jaw. These actions made Doyoung snap.

“Johnny, if you think this will make up for it, you’re wrong. We’ll talk tomorrow. Now cut it out and let me sleep, please?” Doyoung’s tone was desperate, and in an instant, his body was free of Johnny’s touches, only the cold air left nipping at his neck.

 

\--

 

Doyoung woke up to the incessant ringing of their doorbell. He extended his hand sideways, searching for Johnny’s presence, but he wasn’t there. _So why wasn’t he opening the door?_ The ringing still went on, and Doyoung begrudgingly got his ass off the bed.

“Coming! Johnny, if you’re doing this to piss me off-“ Doyoung’s sentence was interrupted as he opened the door and a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around him.

“Ten..? Taeyong? What’s with the sudden visit? It’s 10AM. Ten, let go- are you crying?”

“Doyoung, we’ve been trying to contact you since earlier this morning. We heard what happened… How are you feeling?” Taeyong spoke, his voice laced with alarming concern. Ten was uncontrollably sobbing against Doyoung’s shoulder, while Doyoung couldn’t seem to understand what was happening, his brows tightly furrowed.

“I don’t get it, what do you mean, happened? What’s going on, hyung?” 

“You don’t know? Aren’t you wondering where Johnny is?” Ten muffled out between sobs.

“He wasn’t there when I woke up, he must have headed early to work. Look, if Johnny told you about our misunderstanding, it’s between us, we’ll sort it out. You guys don’t have to be dramatic.” Doyoung forced out a laugh, rolling his eyes. Ten was sobbing harder, now wrapped around Taeyong’s protective embrace. Doyoung stopped laughing as he noticed the seriousness of the two.

“Doyoung, listen to me…” Taeyong started, his eyes wavering as he tried to figure out what words to say next. “Johnny.. He’s gone, Doyoung. His car got ran over by a truck between 10-11PM last night on his way to the restaurant. It killed him right on the spot.. Doyoung, I’m so sorry. We thought you already know..”

Doyoung’s body went rigid. He tried to stare at Taeyong in the eyes, searching for signs that he was playing around. When he didn’t find any, his mind whirled, Taeyong’s words garbled as he tried to grasp what he heard. _Johnny? Dead?_

“Nice try, but I don’t believe you. Your acting is impressive, but do you seriously think this prank is funny? Hyung!! Johnny hyung!! Johnny! Love, where are you? I won’t fall for this, time to come out!” Doyoung was frantically shouting as he roamed their apartment, trying to find his boyfriend in every corner of the room. Tears started to blur his vision, and he let himself collapse on the couch.

“You’re lying. He was here last night, he went home for me. I felt him! I know what’s real and what’s not…” Was it all a dream? Everything that happened last night was clear in Doyoung’s head, but suddenly he was unsure. Johnny was there and hugged him, he felt cold but- cold?

Doyoung was starting to lose focus – he began to cry. His chest felt heavy and tight, filled with so much pain. How can he lose Johnny? How can Johnny leave him? How is he supposed to take this all in? How is he supposed to live without his Johnny hyung, who he love the most?

“Jaehyun was contacted early this morning. He mentioned something about Johnny’s plan of proposing…”  


Upon hearing this from Taeyong, Doyoung felt a pang on his heart. He clutched his chest tight as he tried to catch his breath. Johnny was going to propose to him?

“Jaehyun also mentioned that Johnny showed him the engagement band. The police found the box but it was empty. They assumed Johnny thought he might lost it inside the car and searched for it while he was driving. They didn’t find any ring there, though… He must’ve lost it somewhere else..” Taeyong trailed off. Ten was now silent, leaning on Taeyong’s shoulder with a forlorn expression on his face.

Doyoung was staring across the room, his mind still trying to process everything. He needed something to blame, to be angry on, but everything was an accident.. yet Johnny also hadn’t been careful.

“You two can leave now..” Doyoung muttered quietly. 

“No. We’re not going anywhere, Doyoung. We can’t leave you here alone. Not like this.” Taeyong was hesitant to leave – he couldn’t just go and let his friend all by himself. He knew how strong Doyoung was, but in this case, the possibilities are endless.

Doyoung shook his head and stood up. “Please. I need to be alone. Just let me be.” Doyoung dragged his legs towards he and Johnny’s bedroom, and closed the door without saying anything more. Taeyong and Ten glanced worriedly at each other, but they knew it was a lot to take in and they cannot force Doyoung to deal with their presence. Doyoung needed the time to think and accept what happened. The couple left the apartment, arm in arm.

Doyoung laid steady on the mattress, his gaze fixated on the ceiling. He wanted to cry, but his tears already ran out after hours of weeping. What he and Johnny would’ve been after he proposed – its all wishful thinking now. Doyoung wanted to sleep and wake up to the fact that this was only a bad dream, but he cannot deny it to himself longer. Johnny’s dead, and he will never come back.

Suddenly, a faint shine of an object under one of his pillows caught Doyoung’s attention, and he immediately stretched his arm to grab it. 

 

Rose gold and silver in color, it was a ring Doyoung had never seen before.

**Author's Note:**

> i want to hear what you think!! i hope you enjoyed reading as much as i did while writing it.  
> (i got creeped out while writing tbh)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/weewoojae)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/younghoes)


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